10 Myths About Valentine's Day in Long-Term Marriages

10 Myths About Valentine’s Day in Long-Term Marriages

Every wife has a different take on Valentine’s Day. In long-term marriages, this sentiment rings particularly true, reflecting the diversity of expectations, experiences, and perceptions surrounding this occasion. While some wives may eagerly anticipate grand gestures of love and romance, others may prefer more intimate and understated expressions of affection. 

Misunderstandings and conflicts can arise when partners have different expectations or interpretations of Valentine’s Day. 

So today, we bring you 10 common myths about Valentine’s Day in long-term marriages.

At the end of this blog, you’ll be able to clearly create meaningful and personalized ways that resonate with you and your husband.

Myths About Valentine’s Day in Long-Term Marriages

Are you ready to have the best Valentine’s Day ever? Take note of these myths and our actionable tips!

Myth #1: Your husband will plan something magical

You want this special day to be magical, and you want your husband to surprise you, so you let him do all the planning. However, you find yourself wanting to take control of everything. 

You’ll go against his choice of restaurant or food, even his choice of clothes.

Remember, he’s not a mind reader. While it’s natural to have expectations, it’s also essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Instead of silently objecting to his choices, express your preferences constructively and respectfully. 

Perhaps you can offer suggestions or discuss alternatives together, ensuring that both of your desires are considered. You may also suggest doing the planning yourself if you’d like to take control. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you’re both happy with it. And yes, Valentine’s Day in long-term marriages can still be magical if you help in planning.

Myth #2: It’s normal for romance to fade over time

This is a general belief that can lead to complacency in long-term marriages. While it’s true that the initial spark of infatuation may evolve into a deeper, more mature love, it doesn’t mean that romance has to fade altogether. 

In fact, many couples find that their love grows stronger with each passing year as they navigate life’s ups and downs together. You may have seen long-term couples losing romance, but that doesn’t mean your marriage should be the same.

Here are some tips to prevent romance from fading over time:

Make time for your husband, always

Make an effort to spend quality time with your husband regularly, whether it’s through date nights, weekend getaways, or simply enjoying each other’s company at home.

Communication is key

Nurture open communication with your partner, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and desires openly. This creates a deeper emotional connection and helps address any issues before they escalate.

Show appreciation and affection

Express gratitude and affection towards your partner regularly, through small gestures like compliments, hugs, kisses, or acts of kindness. Feeling appreciated strengthens the bond between you.

Keep the spark alive, intentionally

Continuously find ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship, whether it’s through trying new activities together, surprising each other with thoughtful gestures, or exploring intimacy in your relationship.

Maintain a sense of adventure

Embrace new experiences and adventures together, whether it’s traveling to new destinations, trying new hobbies, or embarking on spontaneous outings. Shared experiences create lasting memories and deepen your connection.

Show him you care

Be empathetic and understanding towards your partner’s needs and feelings, even during challenging times. Listening attentively and offering support fosters trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Keep the romance alive in everyday moments

Look for opportunities to infuse romance into your daily routine, whether it’s preparing a special meal together, surprising each other with love notes, or simply expressing your love and affection regularly.

Encourage each other’s self-care and personal growth

Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally, as your well-being directly impacts the health of your relationship. Invest in self-care practices and personal growth activities that nurture your individual happiness and fulfillment, and support his growth as well.

Myth #3: Gift giving is a must

Receiving gifts will be nice, but it won’t always happen, and that’s okay. Is gift giving your husband’s love language? Maybe not. 

Is that your love language? If yes, does he know?

While gifts can certainly be a meaningful expression of love, understanding each other’s love languages holds far greater significance. Take the time to explore and identify how you and your partner best receive and express love – whether it’s through acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, or indeed, the giving and receiving of gifts. If you’re unaware of your love language, take the quiz here and share it with your husband.

Myth #4: Excitement wanes after the early years

Contrary to popular belief, the excitement and passion in a long-term marriage don’t have to fade over time. While the initial honeymoon phase may give way to a deeper, more mature love, it doesn’t mean that the thrill of being together diminishes. 

Many couples find that as they grow together, their connection deepens, and new sources of excitement emerge. Your interests will also vary. For instance, you might be into hiking in exotic locations years ago, but now you are into learning a new language as a couple. 

By actively nurturing new interests and embracing opportunities for shared experiences, you can reignite the spark of excitement and keep the flame of passion burning bright, even after many years of marriage.

Myth #5: You shouldn’t argue on Valentine’s Day

After years of being together, you might be hoping that at least on Valentine’s Day, you’ll have a stress-free day, filled with romance and affection. However, the reality is that Valentine’s Day in long-term marriages is just like any other day in terms of its potential for challenges and disagreements. 

The pressure to create the perfect day can sometimes aggravate existing tensions or highlight unresolved issues in the relationship. Rather than expecting Valentine’s Day to magically make your resentment disappear, acknowledge the problem and face it head-on. 

If there are underlying issues in the relationship, such as communication barriers, lack of intimacy, or unresolved conflicts, ignoring them on Valentine’s Day won’t make them disappear. 

By getting to the bottom of these issues and actively investing in the health of your relationship, you can create a foundation of love and understanding that extends far beyond Valentine’s Day.

Myth #6: Valentine’s Day is only for capitalism

Another misconception is that Valentine’s Day has been hijacked by consumerism, reducing it to nothing more than a commercialized holiday designed to boost sales of chocolates, flowers, and greeting cards. 

While it’s true that businesses capitalize on the occasion, Valentine’s Day holds a deeper significance for couples in long-term marriages. It serves as a reminder to pause and celebrate the love and connection you share, despite how busy you might be. 

For example, instead of solely focusing on extravagant gifts or expensive dinners, you can choose more meaningful and personal gifts. This might involve creating handmade gifts, writing heartfelt letters, or planning thoughtful experiences that resonate with your shared interests and values. 

By reclaiming Valentine’s Day as a day of genuine expression and celebration of love, you can resist the commercialization of the holiday and rediscover its true essence.

personal gifts ideas

Myth #7: Valentine’s Day is only for women

Many people think that Valentine’s Day is primarily about showering women with affection and gifts while neglecting the role of men in the celebration of love. 

This stereotype may have been perpetuated over time through various cultural influences, including advertising, movies, and literature, which often depict Valentine’s Day as a one-sided affair focused on male-driven romance. 

However, both of you play an equal role in nurturing your relationship and expressing your love and appreciation for each other. So, instead of adhering to traditional gender roles, you can embrace a more egalitarian approach to Valentine’s Day, where both partners actively participate in planning and executing romantic gestures. 

This might involve women surprising their partners with thoughtful gifts or gestures of affection, or men taking the lead in planning a special date night or romantic getaway.

Regardless of gender, both partners in a relationship can express their love and appreciation for one another. 

Myth #8: Fine dining is what it’s all about

While dining out can certainly be a delightful way to celebrate the occasion, it’s not the only option for couples in long-term marriages. In fact, focusing solely on fine dining overlooks other meaningful ways to connect and celebrate love together. 

For example, you can opt for a cozy night in, preparing a homemade meal together with their favorite dishes and a bottle of wine. This intimate setting allows for quality time spent together, away from the hustle and bustle of crowded restaurants. 

Alternatively, you can plan a picnic in a scenic outdoor location, complete with a gourmet spread of cheese, fruits, and sandwiches.

Myth #9: It’s an obligation, not a choice

Another myth surrounding Valentine’s Day in long-term marriages is the belief that celebrating the occasion is more of a duty than a genuine choice. Some couples may feel pressured by societal expectations or their partner’s anticipation of the holiday, leading them to view Valentine’s Day as a mandatory event rather than a voluntary expression of love. 

However, in reality, celebrating Valentine’s Day should always be a choice rooted in genuine affection and appreciation for your partner. Instead of viewing it as an obligation, you can approach it as an opportunity to reaffirm your love and strengthen your bond. 

For example, rather than feeling obligated to spend too much on your dinner date that’s way beyond your budget, you can choose to celebrate in ways that align with your values, relationship dynamics, and budget. This might involve simple gestures of affection, heartfelt conversations, or shared experiences that promote connection and intimacy.

It’s totally okay if you both don’t like to celebrate it instead of feeling obligated.

Myth #10: The best husbands give flowers, and more is better

You may think of Valentine’s Day as equivalent to flowers, right? While flowers can undoubtedly brighten someone’s day, the best husbands understand that the depth of their love cannot be measured by the number of roses in a bouquet. 

Instead, they strive to understand their partner’s love language and do their best to satisfy it. 

For some, receiving gifts may indeed be their primary love language, and a bouquet could be a heartfelt expression of love and appreciation. However, for others, acts of service, quality time spent together, words of affirmation, or physical touch may hold greater significance. The best husbands recognize that true romance lies in tailoring their gestures to align with their partner’s individual preferences and desires. They make the effort to listen attentively, observe their partner’s reactions, and learn what truly makes them feel loved and valued.

Your role is to help him do that by making sure that he knows what your love language is.

BONUS MYTH: Valentine’s Day may fix your marriage

You may think that Valentine’s Day may somehow repair or transform your struggling marriage. You may hope that your partner will finally change on Valentine’s Day, and transform your relationship. 

However, change is inner work. Instead of placing unrealistic expectations on Valentine’s Day to fix your marriage, you can start addressing underlying issues and actively working towards solutions throughout the year. 

This might involve seeking professional help from a marriage coach who can provide support and proven strategies to help you transform your marriage. 

The good news? You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to do this. Book a call now and take the first step towards a happier marriage. 

Your relationship deserves the investment of time and effort to thrive, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year. Book your call today.


DOWNLOAD: FREE GUIDE 7-Conversation Starters that Will Improve Your Marriage CLICK HERE

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If you have any questions, drop us a line at Contact Soulify.

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