Are you searching for the compass that points toward a happy and thriving marriage? Look no further. This blog aims to decipher the not-so-secret qualities of a good marriage.
Whether you’re a newlywed or a long-term couple seeking to enrich your connection, join us today on a transformative exploration as we reveal the 10 qualities that act as a beacon, guiding couples toward a resilient, joy-filled, and enduring relationship.
Discover how this roadmap can help you and answer the timeless question of what truly makes a marriage not just good, but exceptional. Read on!
Qualities that Make a Good Marriage:
Are these qualities present in your marriage?
1. You don’t complete each other
A good marriage is made up of two complete individuals who come together to form a strong and harmonious partnership. When each person in the relationship is emotionally and mentally fulfilled, it creates a foundation of self-sufficiency and personal contentment.
This self-completeness allows both partners to bring a sense of wholeness into the marriage, reducing dependency on the other for emotional fulfillment or validation.
Instead of relying on the spouse to fill personal voids, each individual can contribute unique strengths, perspectives, and qualities to the relationship.
But how can you be complete without relying on your spouse?
The following are some key elements that can contribute to a sense of completeness:
Understand your values, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses. Reflecting on your identity and being aware of your emotions allows you to make informed decisions aligned with your authentic self.
Continuously invest in your personal and professional growth. Set and pursue goals, acquire new skills, and seek opportunities for learning and improvement.
Learn to manage your emotions effectively. Emotional intelligence enables you to have better communication, empathy, and a healthier marriage.
Nurture independence and self-reliance. Being comfortable with your own company and capable of making decisions independently contributes to a sense of self-completeness.
Health and Well-being
Prioritize physical and mental health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and stress management contribute to overall well-being, fostering a positive self-image.
Interests and Hobbies
Cultivate your passions and engage in activities that bring you joy. Having personal interests outside of your relationships adds depth to your character and provides a source of fulfillment.
Surround yourself with supportive and positive individuals. Healthy connections with friends and family contribute to a sense of belonging and provide emotional support.
Purpose and Meaning
Seek a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. This could be through your career, personal pursuits, or contributing to the well-being of others. Having a sense of purpose adds direction and fulfillment.
Develop resilience and the ability to adapt to change. Life is dynamic, and being able to navigate challenges with a positive mindset contributes to personal completeness.
Spirituality or Mindfulness
Explore practices that promote self-reflection, mindfulness, or spirituality. These practices can help you connect with a deeper sense of self and contribute to overall well-being.
2. You don’t talk over one another
This aspect emphasizes the importance of patience and respect in conversation. When you take turns expressing your thoughts and feelings without interruption, it creates an environment where you feel heard and valued.
For instance, during discussions about school decisions, your husband might share his perspective while you listen attentively without immediately interjecting.
Often, this is harder than it seems. Trust me — I know. We all want to be heard. One significant factor contributing to this aspect is recognizing and managing triggers.
Triggers, which can be emotional or situational, often lead to impulsive reactions, including talking over your husband. For instance, a discussion about finances might trigger stress or anxiety, causing you to interrupt him in an attempt to assert your point.
A good marriage involves a commitment to recognizing these triggers and consciously working to mitigate their impact on communication. By addressing triggers, you can create a safe space without fear of being disregarded or misunderstood. This approach ultimately strengthens the emotional connection within the marriage.
3. You don’t stay stagnant
A good marriage involves supporting each other’s journeys of self-discovery and applauding achievements, creating an environment where you are encouraged to pursue your passions and goals.
People are naturally attracted to someone who’s always shining. The commitment to personal growth within a marriage is crucial for several reasons. It ensures that you maintain a sense of individual fulfillment and purpose.
This not only contributes to your overall happiness but also prevents a sense of complacency that can sometimes arise in long-term relationships.
By continually evolving as individuals, you bring new energy, perspectives, and experiences into the marriage, preventing it from becoming monotonous.
Another reason is that personal growth brings resilience in the face of life’s challenges. When you are committed to developing yourselves, you are better equipped to navigate changes and overcome obstacles together.
This adaptability is essential for the long-term success of a marriage, as it enables you to face problems with a united and forward-thinking approach.
4. You don’t give each other a bad name
Another fundamental quality of a strong and healthy marriage is the mutual respect that you consistently uphold. This includes refraining from giving each other a bad name, a practice that involves avoiding derogatory remarks, public humiliation, or disrespectful behavior that tarnishes your reputation.
In a respectful marriage, partners speak about each other with kindness and consideration, both in private and in social settings. For instance, during disagreements, respectful communication focuses on the issue at hand rather than resorting to personal attacks.
By upholding each other’s dignity and reputation, you create an atmosphere of trust and emotional safety. This respect extends to acknowledging and appreciating each other’s strengths and differences, creating a foundation for a supportive and enduring bond.
5. You know that marriage isn’t a fairy tale
Understanding that marriage isn’t a fairy tale is crucial for several reasons. First, acknowledging the reality of challenges and imperfections sets realistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration, whereas recognizing that difficulties are a natural part of any relationship allows you to approach issues with resilience and a problem-solving mindset.
Second, this awareness opens the door to communication. Couples who accept that marriage has its ups and downs are more likely to discuss their feelings, concerns, and expectations openly. This communication is essential for building a strong foundation of trust and understanding – key components of a successful marriage.
Also, recognizing that marriage isn’t a fairy tale promotes personal growth. You can focus on supporting each other through challenges, learning, and growing together. This shared journey of growth contributes to the depth and richness of the relationship.
Finally, understanding the realities of marriage allows couples to build a partnership based on authenticity, resilience, and mutual support. It encourages you to appreciate the beauty in the imperfections, creating a more meaningful and lasting connection.
6. You treat each other as VIPs
Can you recall the last time you felt like an absolute VIP? People remember being treated as VIPs because such experiences stimulate a powerful and positive emotional response.
When someone receives VIP treatment, they feel valued, respected, and special. This emotional impact is often accompanied by a sense of significance and appreciation, creating a memorable and lasting impression. The brain tends to retain memories associated with strong emotions, like being treated as a VIP.
Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be grand. Whether it’s remembering his favorite meal after a long day, surprising him with a thoughtful gesture, or simply taking the time to truly listen, these actions create lasting memories.
It can also be any small, consistent acts of love and consideration. This act builds a foundation of love, deep connection, and emotional security.
Here are some ideas on how to treat him as a VIP:
- Genuinely listen to him
- Let him know that his contributions are valued
- Surprise him with thoughtful gestures
- Take the time to spend quality time together
- Respect his individuality and personal space
- Support his aspirations
- Celebrate his accomplishments
- Maintain physical affection and intimacy
- Make him feel comfortable sharing his thoughts and emotions
- Leave surprise notes expressing your love
7. You believe your spouse is faithful
This quality highlights the importance of mutual trust and emotional security within the relationship. It will be challenging to have a good marriage with unnecessary suspicions.
If you couldn’t confidently assume the loyalty of your spouse, find out why. Is it because of the present or past incidents? Face the reasons head-on so you can decide on your next steps.
If you continue to suspect that your husband is cheating, it can trigger a range of emotional challenges. Here are some potential consequences:
You may experience a surge of emotions, including sadness, anger, betrayal, and anxiety. The uncertainty and emotional distress can significantly impact your well-being.
A belief in infidelity can lead to a breakdown in communication. Fears and suspicions may hinder open and honest dialogue, making it challenging to address the underlying issues.
Trust, a fundamental element of a healthy marriage, is often eroded when infidelity is suspected.
Suspicions of infidelity can escalate conflicts within the marriage. Arguments and disagreements may become more frequent, further straining your emotional connection.
Impact on Intimacy
Believing that your partner is cheating can have an impact on intimacy. Emotional distance may grow, and physical intimacy may decline as trust issues and insecurities take center stage.
You may feel compelled to investigate or seek confirmation of the suspected infidelity, leading to privacy breaches and potential further damage to the relationship.
Impact on Mental Health
The emotional toll of suspecting infidelity can affect mental health. Feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression may arise.
8. You make each other laugh
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins — your body’s natural feel-good chemicals. These endorphins promote well-being and temporarily relieve pain. In the context of a marriage, this physiological response plays a crucial role in reinforcing emotional bonds and creating a positive atmosphere.
This means that couples who can find humor together are better equipped to survive difficulties.
It acts as a lubricant for the inevitable friction that marriage can bring, promoting emotional well-being, reducing stress, and creating a shared language of joy. The ability to make each other laugh is a priceless asset, enhancing the overall quality and longevity of your bond.
Here are some ideas to help you make your husband laugh:
- Share funny childhood stories
- Send silly texts
- Plan a comedy movie night
- Create inside jokes
- Play sports, board games, or video games
- Attend a comedy show or watch stand-up specials
- Save funny videos or social media posts
- Host a game night with friends
9. You can be the craziest but safest beside him
Another quality of a good marriage is that spouses can be their craziest selves while simultaneously feeling the safest beside each other. You dance like no one is watching, complete with exaggerated dance moves and off-key singing, having fun being carefree together.
Couples who feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other are more likely to express their quirky sides. Trust creates an emotional safety net, allowing you to be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
So, if you don’t feel enough trust to have fun with your husband, it’s crucial to explore the underlying factors that may be contributing to this lack of trust.
Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and its absence can stop you from truly being yourself and enjoying the spontaneity that comes with shared moments of craziness.
10. You satisfy each others’ desires
The importance of satisfying desires in a marriage goes beyond momentary pleasure. It is deeply intertwined with your emotional, psychological, and even physiological well-being.
From a psychological perspective, fulfilling each other’s desires enables a sense of validation and emotional connection. When you actively seek to understand and meet the needs and aspirations of your spouse, it creates a powerful affirmation of love and commitment.
From a physiological standpoint, the act of satisfying desire triggers the release of oxytocin and endorphins—commonly known as the “love hormones.” Oxytocin promotes emotional closeness and strengthens your emotional bond. While endorphins act as natural mood lifters, contributing to a sense of pleasure and well-being.
When partners experience satisfaction and joy in their desires being met, it creates a cycle of reciprocity. Each partner feels valued and appreciated, leading to an ongoing effort to prioritize and fulfill the needs and desires of the other.
In the long term, it adds to the overall health and vitality of the marriage.
Is your marriage lacking these qualities?
Reflect on your marriage. Are there areas that could benefit from a deeper understanding or a fresh perspective? If you’re longing for a more fulfilling and happier marriage, take the next step. Book a call with me so I can provide personalized insights and practical strategies to enhance the unique qualities of your marriage.
Schedule your call, and let me help you have a more resilient and joy-filled marriage – and the rest of the qualities we’ve shared in this blog.
DOWNLOAD: FREE GUIDE 7-Conversation Starters that Will Improve Your Marriage CLICK HERE
For weekly videos, visit our YouTube Channel here.
If you have any questions, drop us a line at Contact Soulify.