5 Ways to Rebuild Trust after an Affair

So your husband cheated! It is heart shattering and life changing news!

There are no words to describe the magnitude of pain and betrayal!

You may have suspected he had been cheating for some time, but now it is real! 

And on some level, it may feel good to finally know the truth!

But you still don’t know the whole truth!  And that eats away at you. Creating obsessive thoughts!

Rebuilding a marriage may feel like piecing together a broken window with no gloves. 

The wounds are open and as each detail is revealed over the days and weeks ahead, it stings more!

Rebuilding Trust after infidelity doesn’t need to be painful and lengthy!

Yes… There are some difficult emotions to process! But if you are willing to do the inner work, you can heal quicker.

Here’s how to rebuild trust:

1. Take notice each time you feel an unwanted emotion.

Acknowledge your feelings as they come up (fear, jealousy, anger, sadness).  This is your body’s way of communicating to you!  Even if you don’t know which emotions you are feeling (because sometimes they get all mixed together), take note of where you are feeling these emotions in your body.  Are you feeling heaviness in your gut, heart or head? 

2. Release the pain imprinted in your mind from the event.

Go back to the event and cut energetic ties that keep you attached to the memory and pain. Cord Cutting is a powerful tool that allows you to cut energetic unhealthy attachments to events and people that are no longer for your highest good. You can do this in meditation.  Visualize the strings of attachment to your husband’s affair partner, and see yourself using scissors to release yourself from the ties.  (note- this strategy is best done with an expert who can guide you through the process).

3. Learn to trust your intuition again.

After an affair, your confidence and ability to trust your instinct may feel shattered.  And because of this, you may question your gut feelings. With specific exercises, you can learn to confidently listen to and act on your gut reactions again.

4. Stop the affair replay in your mind (obsessive thoughts).

In order to end the recurring flashbacks and never ending possible scenarios within your mind, you need to release the trauma of the affair, which will allow you to rewire your neural pathways with new thoughts that support your healing. This can be done in a coaching session.

5. Rebuild your worth, confidence & self love.

Replace a damaged self-image and self-esteem with love and deservingness for what you truly deserve within a relationship!  Go inward and see your future self. The version of you who is happy, confident and worthy of a loving relationship.  Feel what it is like to be her.  She is always with you, so tap into her power and let her help you heal.

BONUS- Stop Playing Detective & Being a Helicopter Spouse

Acting this way around your spouse keeps you on high alert, causing you stress and overwhelm. In order to release yourself from the high adrenaline state caused by your external world, your body needs calm, stability and safety.  This safe place needs to be created internally, within your body in order to start healing.

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