How to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage

How to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage

It is scary when you recognize that your marriage is failing. But you are not alone. Many couples have been in your shoes and fully revived their marriage.

You may be feeling a stew of emotions right now, such as anger, sadness, resentment, and embarrassment. 

The process is not easy, but it is possible.  And so rewarding. Through a proven process and understanding of how each person is showing up in the marriage, you can then start working on your marriage before it’s too late.

Ultimately, you are not ready to give up on your marriage, which is why you are here to find a strategy that will help you recover your failing marriage.

Before we go onto the steps of how to fix a broken marriage, we must first understand where to start restoring a broken marriage.

And it is not what you think.

You didn’t just wake up one day and realized your marriage was in a bad place.

It has been days and years of pain that have brought you to now.

Give yourself some time to answer the following questions:

  1. What is my biggest marriage challenge?
  2. How does it make me feel?
  3. What is blocking this challenge from being fixed?
  4. What outcome do you desire to have for your marriage?
  5. What strategies have you used to try and fix your marriage?
  6. Have you put in my best effort to fix your marriage?

Once you have looked at the answers, it is time for…

A Radical Shift in Mindset

So the good news is that if you are willing to put effort into rescuing your marriage, you have most likely already started the mindset shift.

Many couples play the blame game and don’t take ownership for their contributions, which will further erode the marriage. And overtime, this kind of pattern will create a vicious cycle of resentment, frustration, and anger.

Look at the Research

Challenge Every Belief

A trigger comes from someone else’s words, actions, or even your own thoughts. And with each trigger comes an unwanted emotion such as anger, doubt, fear, and many others. Once you start to notice your triggers, you will then need to challenge your beliefs that arise from the trigger.  For example, if your partner says, “Why did you not take out the garbage?”.  This comment may produce the feeling of resentment.  And it may feel like your partner’s words are indirectly telling you that you are not good enough, or that he doesn’t love you. 

So what do you do with your interruption of his comment? You ask yourself some more questions. For example, “is that what my partner is really saying? Or am I reading into his words and actions?”  It is recommended that you ask your partner follow-up questions to ensure you have extracted the correct meaning from your interaction.

Power of the Pause

This strategy is a game changer. Some experts refer to this as active listening. Essentially, you need to listen to your partner’s side of the story, then pause.  

The pause allows you to hold space for them. Your partner will feel heard and respected. Next, ask open-ended questions. Then pause a second time for the response. There is power in that pause.  With each pause, you are indirectly saying that you understand and hear them. 

The next time you have a disagreement with him, stop second-guessing and examine your own responses. Instead of shutting down or becoming critical, adopt a resilient mindset and work on ways you can repair your relationship and get back on track.

Set a Communication Intention.

Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is for yourself and for your partner. By giving forgiveness you are no longer holding onto negative emotions like resent and shame. Remember you are on the same team. Accept that people do the best they can with what they know. It is understandable that you might feel hurt, frustrated, resentful, or rejected if you perceive.

Now implement those strategies, or even better, look into hiring a coach or therapist to keep you accountable.  It may feel like a lot to save a marriage, but given time and your effort to heal your broken relationship will reward you, ultimately restoring your marriage.

JOIN FREE GROUPInfidelity & Affair Support For Women

Marriage Reconciliation Mistakes to Avoid After Infidelity
Boundaries
Beth Miller

10 Common Marriage Reconciliation Mistakes to Avoid After Infidelity

You’re tired, hurt, and angry, but deep down, you know you want to save your marriage. Despite the betrayal, you’ve chosen the path of reconciliation, hoping to rebuild the trust and love you once shared.  This journey is fraught with emotional highs and lows, moments of doubt, and navigating through your pain while trying to

Read More »
8 Signs Your Husband Will Cheat Again
Boundaries
Beth Miller

8 Signs Your Husband Will Cheat Again

What if my husband cheats again?  Is it true that once a cheater, always a cheater? The aftermath of betrayal is often fraught with uncertainty, pain, and a deep-seated desire to understand and navigate the path forward. In this blog, we dig into the subtle signs that may suggest a potential for future infidelity, recognizing

Read More »
Boundaries
Beth Miller

Overcoming Addiction Together: Strategies for Couples 

Addiction can place immense strain on a marriage, testing even the most solid partnership. However, it’s crucial for couples grappling with addiction to recognize that this challenge does not define their worth or the strength of their bond. Instead, it’s an opportunity for mutual growth and support. In this guide, we’ll explore effective strategies for

Read More »
How Do I Stop Thinking about My Husband’s Infidelity?
Boundaries
Beth Miller

How Do I Stop Thinking about My Husband’s Infidelity? (6-Step Guide)

The discovery of your spouse’s infidelity can damage the core of trust and security in marriage, leaving behind a trail of emotional disruption and unanswered questions. The weight of betrayal can feel crushing, robbing you of sleep, appetite, and peace of mind. It’s not just about the hurt you carry, but the toll it takes

Read More »
How to Stop Being Controlling in a Relationship
Boundaries
Beth Miller

How to Stop Being Controlling in a Relationship

Controlling behavior often involves monitoring, questioning, or manipulating the other partner’s actions. It can manifest in various forms, from micromanaging your partner’s actions to imposing unrealistic expectations on the relationship.  This can lead to a breakdown of trust as the controlled partner feels scrutinized and invalidated. These behaviors not only erode trust and intimacy but

Read More »
My Husband Doesn’t Want to Go to Church: What Should I Do?
Boundaries
Beth Miller

My Husband Doesn’t Want to Go to Church: What Should I Do?

Feeling torn between your faith and your relationship? It’s a predicament many find themselves in when their partner, chooses not to attend church.  The clash between personal beliefs and shared values can ignite a storm of emotions, leaving you grappling with questions like: How do we reconcile our differences? Should I compromise my spiritual convictions

Read More »
Scroll to Top

FREE DOWNLOAD

Where should we send your Free Marriage Guide?