Having a strong marriage isn’t something that just happens on its own. A successful marriage implies consistency and commitment to put in the effort to make your relationship healthy and strong.
The good news is you have some control over this process!
Join me as we discuss the seven most important things you can do to strengthen your marriage and ensure it thrives for years to come.
Whether you are newly married or have been together for decades, these tips will help you build a strong foundation for a successful marriage.
7 Most Important Things to Do to Have a Strong Marriage
Marriage is a wonderful union between two people who have committed to each other for a lifetime. However, a strong marriage isn’t always easy to maintain. Challenges will inevitably arise, but with the right approach, you can overcome them and build a lasting bond.
Here are 7 things you can start doing today to have a successful marriage:
1. Be Curious About Your Emotions!
Have you ever felt like your emotions were controlling you, rather than the other way around?
It can be any emotion like anger, sadness, or frustration. You might feel like these negative emotions are driving you to do things that don’t make sense. Like getting into an argument with your husband after laughing hard moments ago.
You may face struggles that can make you feel emotional—stress at work or home, childhood trauma, conflicting schedules and responsibilities, and family and relationship issues.
The list goes on. And when you feel out of control and overwhelmed by your emotions, it can be easy to let those feelings take over your behavior and actions.
Don’t lose hope! You can be in control.
By understanding the science behind your emotions, you can take control of your emotional responses, communicate more effectively with your husband, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and build a stronger connection.
How does your brain affect your emotions?
Our emotions are processed by the limbic system, which is responsible for our fight-or-flight response.
When you feel threatened or stressed, the limbic system sends signals to the hypothalamus, which activates the sympathetic nervous system. It then releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.
This isn’t necessarily bad—the fight-or-flight response helps us survive dangerous situations. However, these hormones can also affect your behavior toward your husband. They can make you irritable, reactive, and defensive.
You make decisions that you later regret and say things that you shouldn’t say.
However, the brain can also regulate and control your emotions. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive functions such as decision-making, planning, and emotional regulation.
But how can you make your brain regulate your emotions positively? Train your brain to do so! These practices can help you improve your emotional regulation skills and have a successful marriage:
- Deep breathing
- Mindfulness meditation
- Listen to Hypno-Journey
- Practice gratitude
- Exercise regularly
- Get enough sleep
- Healthy diet
The key is to take a step back and realize that you can choose how you react in any given situation. By doing so, you can start to regain control over your emotions instead of letting them control you!
When your husband is in a bad mood, don’t take it personally. He’s not mad at you. Maybe he’s stressed out about work, money, or other things. When you think of it this way, you can choose to be his safe haven rather than a battleground.
2. Revisit your “why” to stay committed
Always remind yourself—why did you get married? A strong marriage requires daily cultivation. You have to decide to stay committed every day.
Life can get busy with work and kids, and it’s easy to lose sight of the things that brought you and your husband together. But taking the time to reflect on your “why” can renew your sense of purpose and strengthen your commitment.
Marriage is a commitment you make not only at the start of your marriage but every single day. It is a crucial factor in building a successful marriage, and can only be established through consistency.
Ultimately, a strong marriage is built on a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to growth and happiness. When you stay true to your “why”, you will be able to create a loving and strong marriage that brings you both joy and fulfillment.
3. Communicate in a way that your husband won’t shut down
Does your husband shut down or become defensive when you try to talk about difficult topics like money or infidelity?
If this happens, you’ll get triggered and likely start a fight. Right? So how do you communicate in a way that your husband won’t shut down? Here are things you can start practicing today:
Understand what triggers your husband to shut down.
Is it feeling like you’re nagging? Whatever the trigger is, it’s important to understand it so you can avoid pushing his buttons when you’re trying to communicate.
Next, once you’ve identified what’s causing him to shut down, try talking about your feelings differently.
For example, if he shuts down when you talk about how he never spends time with you, try talking about the things that are most important to him (like sports) and asking for advice on how to integrate those activities into your marriage—together!
This will show him that even though his schedule might not allow for much quality time together right now, there are still ways for both of you to be happy without sacrificing one another’s interests.
Avoid criticizing and blaming him.
If you want your husband to feel understood, you have to communicate in a way that he will listen.
Criticism and blame are attacks on his character, which will likely cause him to shut down. Instead of criticizing him for something he does or says wrong, try asking questions instead. Questions are less accusatory than statements.
This can help to avoid defensiveness and make it easier for your husband to hear and respond to your concerns.
Do not attack his ego.
Make sure you are not attacking his ego. Don’t make him feel like he has failed or he is worthless. He needs to feel like you admire and respect him—not put him down constantly.
4. Be intentional in where you spend your time and energy
Do you get caught up in things that may seem urgent but should not take priority over spending time with your husband. Such as chores or checking emails.
You can’t just go through the motions and expect things to work out for the best—do everything with conscious effort. You have to be deliberate about how you spend your time and energy. Don’t let it all go to waste.
This means taking time out of your busy schedule for regular dates and quality time together, whether that’s going on a hike or staying up late and watching Netflix. Remember this: what you focus on expands.
5. Shift how you view set-backs in your marriage
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that a strong marriage should be perfect, but that’s just not realistic. No one can ever be perfect all the time, and expecting your husband to be is a surefire way to end up disappointed.
You may think your friend is lucky to have a perfect marriage. But even those couples have their struggles. They just know how to deal with them in a way that helps them grow closer together instead of pulling them apart.
So instead of focusing on what’s wrong and lacking in your relationship, focus on what you love about it—and make sure that those things stay alive and well!
6. Spice things up!
Don’t let your marriage get stale by falling into a routine!
Spicing things up in your marriage can be a fun and exciting way to build intimacy and connection with your husband.
It’s all about trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, and exploring your desires and fantasies together.
One way to spice things up is to try new activities together. You can try some calendars of fun activities for couples. This might involve exploring a new hobby or interest, taking a dance class, or planning a weekend getaway to a new and exciting location.
There are also calendar apps you can download on your phone to help you prioritize and plan.
You can also spice things up by trying out new forms of communication and connection. This might involve sharing fantasies or desires, trying out new role-playing scenarios, or simply being more open and vulnerable with each other about your thoughts and feelings.
By exploring new activities, trying out new forms of physical intimacy, and experimenting with new forms of communication and connection, you can build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship that brings excitement and joy to both you and your husband.
7. Thank your husband
Lastly, gratitude is the key to a strong marriage. It keeps you looking on the bright side, which helps keep those negative feelings at bay. Gratitude is so powerful that it prevents resentment or bitterness over time.
When you take time to be grateful for the little things, it opens up your mind and helps you see what’s good in your life. It can also be a great way to reconnect with your husband after a long day at work.
So take a moment and think about what you’re thankful for in your marriage and then share that with your husband tonight.
You might be thinking, “Do I really need to do this? I’m already married.”
But think about it—your husband may not know you’re grateful for him. Let him know and feel that!
When you’re grateful for your husband, you see him for who he is and not just for what he can do for you.
The more grateful you are for your husband, the more likely you are to treat him with kindness and respect. And that’s how you build a strong marriage!
Need help in building a strong marriage?
Having a strong marriage is all about knowing what you want and then going after it.
But I get it—you don’t know where to start to make your marriage better. Or you’ve tried countless times, but nothing seems to work. You’re tired and exhausted.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. I can help you!
I’m a marriage coach with years of experience helping women build strong marriages. I’ll show you the exact steps you need to take, and the script you need to use to communicate with your husband better.
At the end of the program, you’ll have the fulfilling and strong marriage you wish you had. Book a call today!
YES! I am Interested in Manifesting My Dream Marriage!
Book your Complimentary 15-minute “Marriage Roadmap” Call, where we will dig deeper into your current marriage challenges. Then I will give you a proven strategy that you can implement right away to get your marriage back on track.
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