how to improve body language with a spouse

How to Improve Body Language With a Spouse

We may unconsciously revert to negative body language that sends the wrong message to others. We may frown, shrug our shoulders and turn away from our spouse when they try to talk to us. 

This type of behavior can send a message that we don’t want to be around them at all—which is not what you want!

On the other hand, if you take some time out each day to practice positive body language—such as smiling and making eye contact—you will send signals that encourage intimacy instead of pushing people away from you. 

If you want to strengthen your marriage, this can be a powerful tool. So let me help you explore some practical tips for improving your body language in your marriage.

7-38-55 Communication Model

https://worldofwork.io/2019/07/mehrabians-7-38-55-communication-model/
7-38-55 Communication Model

Based on Albert Mehrabian’s Communication Model, the way we communicate is composed of three elements: words, tone of voice, and body language. 

Words only account for 7% of communication, while the tone of voice makes up 38%, and body language makes up a whopping 55%.

This means that while the words we use are important, the tone of voice and body language we employ can often have a greater impact on how our message is received.

For example, if you say “I’m fine” in a sarcastic tone while crossing your arms, your husband may pick up on the fact that something is wrong, despite your words suggesting otherwise. 

Similarly, if your husband says “I love you” with a monotone voice and no eye contact, you may feel that he doesn’t truly mean it.

So how can we ensure that our words are accurately conveying our emotions and intentions?

Avoid miscommunication and build a stronger, more intimate relationship with your spouse using these easy ways to improve your body language.

Body Language Is More Than Just a Habit

Your body language is your emotions in a physical form.

So see your “low vibe” body language as a clue into the work you need to do on yourself. 

It’s your body giving you clues about what’s going on inside your head. Your body language around your partner can reveal a lot about who you are and how you feel.

What messages are you sending out? Are you carrying past hurt affecting how you interact with your husband today? 

View your body language as a sign of where you can improve and grow.

If something is bothering you and you don’t know how to communicate it verbally, you might unintentionally be showing your emotions outwardly via your body language.  Your body language then serves as your outlet. 

Instead of doing this, address your negative emotions first. Read on as you’ll find out how.

Easy Ways to Improve Your Body Language

Body language can either improve or affect relationships. By being mindful of your nonverbal cues, you can strengthen your emotional connection with your husband and build a more fulfilling marriage. 

To do this, follow these easy ways:

1. Get out of your head and into your body

Improving body language in marriage requires you to be present and mindful in your interactions. 

When you are focused solely on your thoughts and feelings, you may unintentionally send negative or dismissive nonverbal cues. For example: avoiding eye contact or crossing your arms. 

These behaviors can create distance between partners and make it harder to connect emotionally.

To improve your body language in marriage, you need to “get out of your head” and be more present in your physical body. 

Assess yourself. Have you ever thought about what your body language says to others? What does your body language say about your relationship with your husband?

You can’t change what you’re not aware of. So take some time right now and reflect on your body language.

Here are some tips to help you do so:

  • Pay attention to your posture: How are you standing or sitting? Are you leaning in or away from your husband? Is your body language open or closed?
  • Observe your facial expressions: Are you smiling or frowning? Are you making eye contact with your husband? What emotions are you conveying?
  • Notice your gestures: Are you using hand gestures or other nonverbal cues? What do they communicate?
  • Listen to your tone of voice: How do you sound when speaking to your husband? Are you speaking in a soft or harsh tone?

2. Learn how to read your husband’s body language

If you want to improve your body language as a wife, you should learn to read someone else’s body language, including your husband’s.

Doing so also lets you understand your husband better. It can deepen your marriage by allowing you to respond to his emotional needs. 

So how do you learn how to read your husband’s body language? Here are some tips you can take action on today:

Observe his posture

Pay attention to how he’s standing or sitting. Is he relaxed or tense? Is he leaning in or away from you? This can provide insight into his level of engagement.

Notice his gestures

People often use hand gestures or other nonverbal cues to emphasize or illustrate what they’re saying. Pay attention to his cues to get a better understanding of his message.

Watch his facial expressions

Facial expressions can convey different emotions, from happiness to sadness to anger. Pay attention to his facial expressions to get a sense of how he’s feeling.

Listen to his tone of voice

People’s tone of voice can also provide insight into their emotional state. Is he speaking softly or loudly? Is he using a monotone voice or a lot of inflection?

Consider the context

The context in which your husband is communicating can also provide important clues about his body language. For example, if he’s in a stressful situation, he may exhibit different body language than if he’s in a relaxed environment.

Be mindful of cultural differences

Different cultures may have different norms around body language, so it’s important to be mindful of these differences when interpreting your husband’s body language.

3. Don’t multitask!

You may often find yourself juggling multiple responsibilities at once. You prepare breakfast while doing laundry. You pay bills online while cooking. You do it every day.

However, when you’re having a conversation with your husband, it’s important to give him your full attention. 

When you multitask during a conversation, it can make your husband feel like he’s not important. 

Plus, multitasking affects your ability to remember information, as your brain can’t fully focus on one task or piece of information.

It can affect relationships, not only with your husband but with your kids and friends. 

So if your husband is talking to you about his day, put down your phone, close your laptop, and turn off the TV. This sends the message that you’re present and engaged in the conversation and that you value him and his thoughts and feelings.

Doing so allows you to pick up on important nonverbal cues, such as his tone of voice or facial expressions, which can help you understand his emotions and respond appropriately. 

Additionally, giving your husband your full attention can help prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications, which can lead to a stronger and healthier marriage.

4. Don’t look preoccupied

Communication is a crucial component of any healthy marriage, and listening is a key aspect of effective communication. By taking the time to actively listen to your husband, you can build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship with him.

However, 75% of the time, people are distracted and preoccupied. Our attention spans are limited. It can be difficult to remain fully present and engaged in our interactions with others. 

One way to combat this is to make a conscious effort to actively listen. Here’s how:

  • Ask questions

Actively listening involves more than just hearing what someone says. Ask questions to clarify your husband’s points and better understand his perspective.

  • Avoid interruptions

Interrupting your husband can make him feel unheard or disrespected. Wait until he has finished speaking before offering your thoughts or ideas. 

  • Reflect

Taking a moment to reflect before responding can help you avoid knee-jerk reactions and ensure that your response is thoughtful and appropriate. This can help ensure you understood his point correctly and make him feel validated and heard.

  • Practice empathy

Try to put yourself in your husband’s shoes and see the situation from his perspective. By doing this, you can better understand his goals. Then, you can communicate more effectively with him.

5. Engage more deeply

Lack of eye contact during conversations can indicate disinterest or a lack of engagement in the relationship.

A visual connection can help to establish a deeper level of intimacy and trust in your marriage.

However, making eye contact isn’t always easy, especially if you’re feeling anxious or uncomfortable. So it’s important to practice this skill regularly, even when you’re not in a conversation with your husband. 

Try making eye contact with friends, your kids, or even with yourself in the mirror. This can help to build your confidence and make it easier to maintain eye contact in more intimate settings.

There is no set frequency for maintaining eye contact, as it can vary depending on the situation. However, it is generally a good idea to maintain eye contact during important conversations and moments of intimacy.

But what if you can’t look your husband in the eye because of resentment? 

If you feel resentment toward your husband, it’s time to work on healing those feelings. You may want to consider seeing a marriage coach to help you release the anger and pain

Once you’ve worked through your resentment, it will be easier for you to look him in the eye when he talks about his day at work or about his plans for the weekend.

6. Open up!

Your husband comes home after a long day at work and starts talking to you about his day. You are feeling tired and sleepy, and instinctively roll your eyes and yawn. 

Your husband notices this and feels like you are bored and not interested in what he has to say.

Subtle cues are nonverbal signals you send through your body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions. These cues can communicate your feelings and intentions to others, often without you even realizing it. 

While it may be difficult to completely prevent these subtle cues, being aware of them and making a conscious effort to use open and relaxed body language can help to minimize their impact. 

This can involve things like uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and using open gestures like facing your body toward your husband or leaning in when he is speaking.

These subtle cues are often subconscious and may take some practice to become more aware of them. But with time and effort, you can improve your body language and become a more effective communicator in your marriage.

7. Consistency is the key

You can’t just do it once or twice and expect to see a difference—you have to keep working at it every day.

If you’re consistent, your body language doesn’t just come and go—it’s part of who you are. Your husband will see that and will start to trust you more.

If you need help finding the confidence to be consistent with your body language, I can help you.

We can make it happen quickly by listening to a Hypno-Journey

Truth is, you can’t leave it up to willpower alone to change patterns of behavior. You should do the work on yourself first to understand the reasons for your behavior. 

Here are the beliefs behind some of the body language that you may be doing frequently: 

  • Crossed arms = You tell me that I am not good enough
  • Angry tone = I am not heard
  • Slumped shoulders = I am a failure again

You can change these beliefs and I can help you do that. If you want to take control of your body language and make sure your husband is always getting the message from you loud and clear, book a call today.

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