How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship and Marriage

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship and Marriage (Is It Even Possible?)

You might be wondering whether it’s even possible to rebuild trust and rekindle the magic you once had. You’ve been hurt, and you’re afraid your husband is going to break your trust again—or still doing it.

You’ve been hurt so much that it’s hard to see past the pain and distrust. It keeps you up at night. 

You want to trust again. But every time you try, your suspicions would arise—thinking of your husband betraying you again. This guide is for you.

Is It Even Possible to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship and Marriage?

Is it even possible to rebuild trust in a relationship and marriage? Yes! It’s possible. Continue reading as I show you how!

Ways to Rebuild Trust

So now what? Let me help you rebuild trust in your relationship with these actionable steps:

1. Learn to forgive yourself first

It’s easier said than done, but you have to learn to forgive yourself before you can rebuild trust in your marriage. 

You may ask: why should I forgive myself after my husband betrayed me?

It’s important for your emotional health that you forgive yourself for any part you played in the problem. Then move forward from there. It’s hard to rebuild trust in a relationship when you’re stuck in a cycle of blaming. 

Once you get past this phase, the next steps will be easier for you. Keep going!

These steps will help you to forgive yourself:

  • Recognize your feelings
  • Treat yourself with kindness and understanding
  • Focus on the present
  • Avoid engaging in negative self-talk

2. Release the hurt and pain

When your husband lied or cheated on you, it’s normal to feel angry and hurt. But if you hold onto those feelings for too long, they can start to chip away at your relationship—and even destroy it completely.

There are ways to release these negative emotions:

  • Express yourself through journaling
  • Practice mindfulness like yoga and meditation
  • Engage in physical and creative activities
  • Practice self-care
  • Hypno-Journey

3. Identify your triggers

save your marriage -woman shouting, and fighting with her husband

Triggers are different for everyone. They remind you of past mistakes, infidelity, bad behavior, or other negative experiences. 

This could mean anything from a certain tone of voice to a specific behavior. Just like how anxious you get every time your husband arrives home late.

So the next time you feel angry or frustrated, ask yourself what’s causing those feelings. 

Is it something that happened recently? Something that happened a long time ago? Or something from your childhood? 

Once you’ve identified your triggers, think about this: are these negative emotions worth carrying?

4. Decide to trust again

Once you’ve identified your triggers and released your pain and hurt, it gets easier to commit yourself to trust again. 

Once you had some time to reflect on things, it becomes much easier to remember why you married this person in the first place.

As long as you think that your marriage is worth fighting for, you can find this desire to trust again within you.

5. Be consistent

Another thing that can help is being consistent with your behavior. Once you’ve identified your emotional triggers, make a plan on how you’ll react the next time. Make a list and be consistent with it.

Hold yourself accountable for your actions by sticking to them. You can do this!

6. Let go of judgment

It’s not productive or helpful to judge yourself or your husband for something that happened in the past. Most of the time, your judgment comes from fear—fear that things will never change.

When you release these fears, you’d have room for compassion and understanding.

Consider these steps to take to let go of judgment:

  • Recognize your judgment
  • Reframe your thoughts
  • Practice empathy
  • Focus on gratitude
  • Let go of perfectionism

7. Keep an open mind in listening to your husband

It’s easy to get defensive when someone has hurt you. If your husband tells you something, don’t assume he’s lying or trying to hurt you. Listen carefully and try not to judge what he says—just listen. 

If you can do this, it will go a long way toward rebuilding trust between the two of you.

Here are some steps you can take:

  • Give him your full attention
  • Be present
  • Practice empathy
  • Avoid interrupting
  • Avoid defensiveness
  • Show appreciation

8. Express how you feel without being hurtful

If your husband has done something that hurt you, it may be difficult to express your feelings without hurting them back. Try this:

Use “WE” instead of “YOU” statements. 

For example: 

If you’re angry with your husband for not doing his share of cleaning up after dinner, instead of saying, YOU never do any cleaning around here! 

Try saying something like, it makes me feel frustrated when WE don’t clean up after dinner.

9. Communicate your expectations

When you have a clear understanding of each other’s expectations, it’s much easier to know how to behave and respond to issues and problems. This can go a long way toward repairing the damaged trust.

10. Feel good about yourself

fulfilled woman after saved marrigae and happy marrigae life

To feel good about yourself, follow these steps:  

  • Practice self-care
  • Practice self-compassion
  • Set realistic goals
  • Focus on your strengths
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Join a support group
  • Practice gratitude

11. Celebrate every progress

Celebrating progress is an important part of staying motivated and reaching your goals. The same applies if you want to rebuild trust in a marriage and relationship. 

Take time to acknowledge and recognize the progress you have made. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how small. Treat yourself to something special, such as a nice meal, a day off, or a good cup of coffee!

12. Talk to a trusted marriage coach

If the journey gets overwhelming and you need help with any of the steps I shared above, a marriage coach can help you. 

A marriage coach can help you navigate the difficult waters of rebuilding trust in your relationship. I’ll help you identify where the problems are and provide tools and techniques for overcoming them.

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