We all know that marriage is hard. It starts out easy, but as we get more responsibilities, toss in a couple kids and some major life events…. It gets real!
During times of stress and strain, many people struggle to keep their marriages afloat. They fight with each other but rarely is it about the chores, work, or the kids. The fights are deeper than that.
After time both partners may grow resentful and even start to toss around the D-word… divorce.
The first thing you need to do to save a marriage is to assess your situation. What version of you is showing up each day? And what version of your husband are you getting each day? Do you find that he is resistant to change? And if so, know that you will be the only one trying to repair and save this marriage, because if your partner can’t see how they are contributing to the downfalls of your marriage, then they won’t help save it either.
So being the only one trying may seem pointless or cause more resent. Often wives tell me, ‘why should I be the one who always has to do the heavy lifting’. Instead, look at it as taking your control back over your happiness. So there are many ways to get off the marriage roller coaster of ups and downs and take the lead on saving your marriage. Take your power back over your marriage and if not, you may end up with regrets about, could I have done more to save my marriage.
Before you can save your marriage, you must ask yourself- Why do I want to save it? The “why” is so important because it is what motivates us to take action when you hit a speed bump along the way. And once you have your reason then we can figure out the ‘how’.
Some reasons may include:
- I love my husband
- My husband is my best friend
- I want to keep my family together
- I don’t believe in divorce
- I love his family
- I love our lifestyle and home
Take Your Focus Away From Your Marriage
The thing with saving your marriage, on your own is you must not start fixing your marriage, by working on the marriage.
So that means, quit focusing on negative parts of your marriage. Stop talking, about how you want him to change. Quit venting to friends and others about your spouse.
Stop asking yourself, how to save your marriage when you are the only one trying, and start acting on being the best you first.
So start by focusing on yourself.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Decide who you want to be in the marriage?
- What baggage are you bringing into your marriage?
- Are you a good communicator?
- Did your parents have a healthy romantic relationship?
- What have your past romantic relationships been like?
When you start letting go of the problems and negativity, you start focusing on how you are showering up each day, then you can make some massive changes.
Time To Focus On the Marriage
Once you have processed and cleared the following, you can then start to work on rebuilding trust, improving communication, and reigniting emotional connection again.
- Society’s ingrained beliefs (Couples Counseling is the only way to save a marriage)
- Childhood programming of what is right and wrong
- Mini and Major Traumas from your past (bullying, death, divorce, abuse)
- Stuck emotions from past relationships, breakups, and your current marriage.
- Personal limiting beliefs (I am not good enough, people pleasing)
- Reason for weak boundaries
- Attachment style & Abondamment
Self-discovery leads to many ah-ha moments that will start to transform your relationship. When you can uncover, release and reprogram the unwanted things that you have brought to your marriage,. Then your marriage is ready to shift.
You transform yourself to transform your marriage.
Start focusing on becoming the person your partner loved and married. Bring your partner on board again, as he will your shift in vibration and behaviour.
Over time as you consistently show up as your best self, communicating your needs lovingly, then you will become a safe place for your husband to have deeper conversations. He will feel heard and valued, which in turn will lead to you feeling respected and heard. He will no longer feel judged, criticized, or nagged.
This is when real change happens.
You are happier, and he sees that in you.
It may feel like a lot to save a marriage, but given time and your effort to heal your broken relationship will reward you, your husband, and kids with happiness
YES! I want to SAVE MY MARRIAGE
Book your Complimentary 15 minute “Marriage Roadmap” Call where we will dig deeper into your current marriage challenges. Then I will give you a proven strategy that you can implement right away to get your marriage back on track.
If you can’t book a call at this time, you can DOWNLOAD the FREE GUIDE- 3 Proven Ways to Save a Marriage. Click Here