Every couple fights.
But the secret….
Is to recognize what underlies the arguments and deal with your emotions and not just what triggered you.
So…
When you are triggered by your partner’s words or actions, take a small time out!
GET CURIOUS.
What is really underneath that trigger?
For instance, why are you so mad at your partner who is laying on the couch and has not started making dinner?
Is it just because dinner isn’t ready?
Or is it because you believe that your partner is…
- Lazy
- Doesn’t help you
- Doesn’t care about you!
BINGO….
When you can dig into the emotion, then you can get to the root of the argument!
You can ask yourself if you truly believe those statements to be true?
- Is he lazy?
- Does he not help me?
- Does he not care about me?
THEN THE MAGIC HAPPENS.
Once you can understand the beliefs under the emotion, then you can express your needs in a loving way.
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